Learning Things

First, a thank you to you all. Those who have supported me financially, through prayers, in conversation etc. In no way do I ever want to let my awareness of you all become a habit, because then I will think I made it here by my own accord...which could not be further from the truth. So THANK YOU my dear family, friends, and acquaintances (: I am grateful.

It has been a little less activity filled couple weeks. I did enjoy some time with friends at the beach, hanging with Young Life dudes, playing soccer at the local court with all my new buddies (kids 9-13yrs old who seem to swarm whenever I show up...really starting to grow fond of those boys) and a reunion dinner for all the counselors that worked the Youth Camps I described in my last post.

With less activity I've had a lot of time on my own, reading often (finished a couple great books I recommend - "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis, "The Shack" by WM. Paul Young, and "The Alchemist" by Paulo Cuelo, along with a lot of good time in scripture...been going through the book of Matthew). Also continue to study some Arabic and practice when I'm out and about in Nazareth, and just restful time for me as the breath before things really pick up. School starts Monday and looking forward to YL Nazareth taking over lots of my time. I've been learning a lot though recently. One thing is that anything can change cuz I used to LOATHE reading...and yet now find it to be one of my favorite things.
With this post, I figured I'd share some of what has made an impact on me or made me go "Huh, that's interesting". Most of it is the deeper life stuff that I'm working to attach or make improvements upon my own character.
For me, just as much with the little things, in the grander scheme of my experience of life, I've found and decided that God is number 1 along with my pursuit of Jesus.

Gift vs. Entitlement:
Are we really entitled to anything? I'm at least entitled to my time right? For example, I've had many moments, and I'm sure you have too, where I am exhausted and simply want MY time. Time to myself to do whatever I like with it. And every so often, something interrupts that. Like family/friends asking for a favor, or an errand/chore I ought to take care of. It feels annoying and frustrating...like MY time is being stolen from me. And yet, who am I to have entitlement to anything? Is it my birthright? I was brought into this world, given this body, and grown in this way not by my own action. I've been blessed with what I have.
Funny story - Years ago, I argued with my mom about this. I said "I put in all the work! I took the time to study, or workout! or put energy into this idea!...It's MINE." To which my Mama (the wisest person I know) calmly said, "Zack, who gave you a brain that knowledge and learning could be added to?  Who gave you this body capable of playing sports? Who inspired the idea that you put energy behind?" and of course I said..."oh...right, God." hahaha. That simple notion takes a lot of the quick reaction frustration away in life. When I've put less emphasis on what I feel entitled to, or what I expect others to do for me...it opens my heart and mind up to serve and love. To welcome an unexpected interruption, because I'm not entitled to not be interrupted.
My favorite has been this - The gift of witnessing creation, most commonly the sunrise or sunset. No matter who you are, when you see those amazing colors across the sky, you try to hit the pause button just for a sec. It is a worship filled moment. One of the most beautiful things I see during the day, and I didn't have to do a thing to make it. It puts me directly in the present moment and it connects our "known" world (the clouds, sky) to that which is the mystery outside our world (the sun and space beyond the Earth's borders). When I become consumed with myself, with work, or the thought that I must create something to find joy...looking at the sunrise/sunset reminds me of the opposite. There is beauty outside of our independence that we simply get to witness as God's creation...not entitled to it...but it's almost as if He says, "Just sit and enjoy my gift to you." asking nothing in return.

Patience:
Man it is super tough to be patient. To wait. To "Be Still" (Psalm 46:10). The mindset I got used growing up was  "Go, Go Go. If it's not happening, make it happen." There is some truth to that I agree but also the idea was to have something to do for most of the day, and if you don't then it's unproductive. At the current stage of life for myself and my peers the topics surrounding patience are - "What am I gunna do for a job/career? When am I gunna meet that significant other? I gotta start making that money and saving...can't sit around. When will I start my family?" It is quite difficult to practice patience. To trust that as time passes and you have your heart and mind set in the right direction, good things will happen. One for me currently is I want to be fluent in Arabic so I can talk to the people here more easily. I get frustrated with myself sometimes when I'm around the language and have no idea what is going on...or wanting to express an idea but don't have the words. I have to remind myself to not expect so much at this current time. That just adds unnecessary stress and pressure.
However, while waiting, it is of course important to be focused. To take the necessary actions, so that as time passes those good things do occur. To be applying to jobs, working more on Who you want to be for your future significant other, to be smart with how your spending money, or your time.
Take control of what you have power over and be at peace with the rest.

Relationships:
If we were meant to be alone, there wouldn't be 7 billion people on Earth. I'm a person that thrives around others and I truly love sharing stories, energy, and life with family/friends/even acquaintances. First, I've thought a lot about power and control. With how common it has been this summer to hear/see stories of the evil in this world, I wondered what causes these wars, shootings, and conflict. I think a core reason is the desire for power and control. These two elements, when we feel like we have a grasp on them, provide security (false security). Security as a nation, security as a group/race, security as a person...over or amongst others. If it stopped simply at "I have power and control over myself" I think that would be ok. But it extends, to wanting these same things over others. Whether it's - Israel v. Palestine, Russia v. Ukraine, White v. Black, Islam v. Christianity...it all comes from a brokenness within relationships - Which biblically comes from judgment, pride, self-serving interests, etc.

I am free to admit, I unfortunately have my own agenda at times. Thankfully not in such severe circumstances, but for example, my last year and this upcoming year being involved with ministry has had the focus of introducing the Gospel to adolescents. To let others know Who Jesus was, What He has done for them, How they relate to that, and to Make their own choice about it (straight up Mission Statement of Young Life). Sometimes I overstep my bounds and want to Make their decision for them. To force a decision. However, that is not how God works, and that is not how love works. If decisions were forced, it wouldn't be love at all. I'm glad I have come to be made aware of this. And I do my best now to simply enjoy the relationship among friends for what it is. To share life, to share experiences and opinions. To laugh together, play sports, work hard or do whatever...together. Even when myself and another person clash a little bit and don't get along well, I can still respect them as a person in love. (That is HUGE...even with differences, respect maintains love). In the book "THE SHACK" by WM. Paul Young, there are so many amazing words regarding relationships. With God who designed them, and then between people. I really encourage you to read it!

So here is my new "Agenda" I will try to live by: (feel free to take some things you like and disregard
the stuff you don't)
All I want is for you to get to experience the overwhelming Joy & Peace I have discovered in my life. This peace comes from my relationship with the Holy Spirit in pursuit of getting to know Jesus and God more. The same way we like to share a good story or a fun time with loved ones, I want to share what I believe is the ultimate part of life. If I've found something this awesome, how could I not want to share it? That would be selfish, no? And what keeps me at peace is that I don't have to worry about your choice or force it. I will absolutely pray for you, for the best in your life, for blessings to come and hopefully that you join me in this bond as a follower of Jesus. No matter what you decide however, as that choice is between you and God, I'd love to continue to "do/share life".
- Happiness is best when shared." - from Into The Wild (Chris McCandless' story)


I got a bunch more notes in journals and scribbled in books but I'll leave it at that. As always, if you would wanna share life philosophy, or just chat, or even share a coke (thanks to technology via Skype/facetime this is possible) I'm always down.

Love to you all, Cheers

Zack

 

for real, read it.



Also, Here's a question that I have used with some new friends over here that I find an interesting conversation starter/topic. If you wish, let me know your thoughts (:
- If you were God, how would you make yourself known to your creation (us) without scaring the crap out of a limited human mind? aka, as a human we cannot begin to comprehend God.

And life isn't always happy go lucky - Alas, Manchester United have started a dreadful campaign this season and it sucks to watch. Oh well, cant always be on top...I look forward to a good Premier League Season and maybe will catch a REDSKINS game here in the middle of the night. HTTR!

Live It Up

Watched 2 epic movies recently and both have a similar idea in one of the last quotes of the movie.
Braveheart - "Every man dies, not every man really lives."
The Last Samurai - "Tell me how he died?" response "I will tell you how he lived."
+ It's that "finding life in every breath" theme and hopefully finding it to the full. I ask myself am I living in such a way? Do I use my time where I can answer yes?
(and I offer a chance by reading this for you to do the same). If you say yes, that's freakin awesome! If you wonder and question and think that the answer is more no, that's okay. No matter what you've been doing, why can't now be a step in the right direction towards that YES.

Another two weeks in Nazareth and I can say that my answer to the questions have been more Yes than No. The former week was spent hanging out around town mostly. Waking up each morning with the opportunity and freedom to spend an hour or two reading my bible, praying and wanting to learn more about Jesus and God's Word is a blessing. It makes me laugh how that has changed in my life because I used to never read period, let alone read the Bible, if I had the time to choose something else, and if I ever did it was only for 15-20min max to just make sure I did it. Woopty Doo, I read my bible, I'm a good person now right? (Not what it's about).
It's funny to be aware of the changes in my interests and what I pursue as my life has changed...and changed 100% for the better. In terms of some activity, I went to the local soccer court, walked on and played with some neighborhood Muslim kids and teens who now shout hello to me from their cars as they drive by while I stand at the bust stop. Pretty wild statement right there that I never thought I'd have the chance to say. Also, I spent some quality time with a few high school guys who will be going to the school where I volunteer for Young Life. Simply enough we would hang out and play some footy (soccer) or video games, but conversation always seems to meander towards deeper life stuff and sharing philosophies we all have developed so far. Love that.
Finished the "Divergent" series as well, gotta say I'm a bit more of a "Hunger Games" fan, but it was still a good series about a dystopian society, the choices we make, how we grow as individuals and in community while standing up for what we believe is right. Up next, Bob Goff's "Love Does" and I am really enjoying the way this guy goes about life and living in love. Thanks for sharing your experiences and how you've pursued the Lord Mr. Goff.
Another random thing I got to read was the last address by Jim Rayburn (the founder of Young Life) that he gave to the YL staff in 1970, 11 months before he passed away. What a cool dude! He definitely was a person who 'Really Lived', traveling all over the world meeting different people from different cultures. Then recognizing what he truly loved and that was spending time with high school kids and doing life with them having the hope/goal of sharing the Gospel. All this, while to my unknown knowledge, he experienced intense illness such as central nervous system deterioration and cancer. Even more respect and admiration for the guy who inadvertently changed my life with an organization he was called to start.

The latter week I spent in Petah Tikva, a town about 30min outside of Tel Aviv, as a volunteer leader for a camp known as The Potter's Wheel Camp. It is a Christian based camp that hosts different age groups from 4th grade to 9th grade. This week was 5th and 6th graders. It's been around for a long time, over 30 years from what I could gather, and it provides a week of fun for kids (games, cabins, pool, good food). 2 days before it started a friend asked if I wanted to come be a leader with her. There would be about 15 other leaders (ages 16-21) and everyone's first language was Arabic. Thankfully the leaders have grown up in school system that teaches English from an early age so most know it well enough and the kids coming to camp knew some also...so I wasn't totally out of it, but it was still a challenge. However, even despite all the elements that should have made me uncomfortable and put me out of place I chose to say yes, and I'm really glad I did - things seem to usually work out like that I've discovered, we just need the courage to go for it. The week was exhausting physically and mentally, and it took a lot of constant positive self talk. There was a quote I focused on continuously, probably said it to myself 50 times.
"If not me who, if not now when".
This I said over and over when I was not feeling up to something or when I was tired. Tired of the kids who were hard to relate to at first. Tired from a lack of sleep. When I was unsure why I was here as a random American trying to make an impression of Jesus on 5th and 6th graders. When annoyed at the countless pieces of trash that I picked up. And then among all the other things that I could have dismissed.
Self talk is really important to me because it keeps me focused on what I know I should do and what is expected of me, when I could easily just give up and say "I'm good, not gunna do that." It keeps me motivated and walking the path towards the ultimate goal when it would be so easy to wander off.
I cannot explain how, but on Monday as the kids arrived and I was saying hello to them while thinking "how is this ever gunna work? I guess I'll just kind of be in the background and help where I can" then to at the end of the week smiling while running around with these kids and having them jump on me saying "Zackee, I love you and will miss you"...I mean, what else is there better than witnessing such change? Only God knows, I'm just grateful to be apart of it all :)

leaders from Potters Wheel Camp



There's the update for you, my friends and family and whoever may stumble upon this post. I hope it had some wisdom you can take away and again if you want to talk about A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I'm always down. While there was a ceasefire in Gaza the past few days, it has ended and hatred and war continue to be constant not only here but in many areas of the world (Russia, Ukraine, Iraq, Central Africa, Syria)...hard to believe in hope and love with all this going on. Yet, we must because then evil wins. Something that's been on my mind often the last month has been, "If evil in this world never rests, how can I?" Whether it's mission work, that small act of kindness in your day at work or at home, or something in between...don't give up on the goodness in people. It's so much stronger than hate.

Cheers to Saturday! Love Zack

Shout out to The Cooley Family too! specifically to Emory :) got the return letter and support from you all and it puts a huge smile on my face.
If you would like to contribute to my time here in Nazareth you can use this link.
Support Zack



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Okay, I was unsure whether to include this but figured, what the heck why not. It's apart of me after all and thanks to the fact this is a blog and not a paper for a professor, there's no grade and therefore no structure necessary. Here is some "word vomit" - hence the name of the post. It is just some completely raw thought processes I was having about some of the deeper, more unexplainable things in life I wonder about. I dunno if you ever go through those times, but I do from time to time and quite enjoy it.

What have I done to deserve the life I live? How is it that I have been given such a life, with amazing family and friends, a healthy body, a happy spirit, the memories created and the fact I've been safe and protected (somewhat - various broken bones or torn ligaments) throughout. And day after day I get to wake up and experience a life of my choosing. Yet when looking at myself also from a distant view or perspective, like another galaxy in space, or even just way up high in an airplane...I say who am I to matter? A tiny little thing amongst 7 billion currently...not much more special or specific than any other. At the core I am just like everyone else with a body, feelings, a mind, and many of whom I'll never come in contact with and we'll never even be aware of each other's existence. How is it we think we are so big and grand and our problems matter more than others...but only to ourselves. We consider ourselves of utmost importance....but are we really? On the timescale of creation, or evolution, whichever you may prefer, our existence is but a minor moment in the grand scheme of things. Here for a brief period and then gone from the face of the Earth like a gust of wind. Can this really be it? Is it all that matters that I will search and chase after "happiness" day after day for however long I am to be on this planet?
With how strong everything is that we feel, from the highest high and the lowest low, the range of emotion and the complexity of how our entire anatomy is wired so exactly to the infinitesimal level...is the fraction of the timescale we experience even worth considering. There has to be something greater...and that's where I've found there is and it can only be God. We are similar and part of humanity but how cool that we are all also so unique and different with different talents, goals, dreams. The way our mind's work is wired differently...If for a moment the distractions of life can be taken away...both good and bad and you just sit in silence and look at what is in this world...specifically what man did not create, how can you not wonder how this is all possible? From the inner workings of a leaf on a tree and everything encompassed in that 1 tree...the ability for it to go from death to life and life to death as the seasons carry on....personally I can only sit in amazement. And what then if there is something more...where do we find it or where do we look for it? In solitary moments when we take everything in. Our memories, looking back and how we have grown up from who we were to who we are now. The interactions with other people, from family members to friends who are like family to simple acquaintances...I believe it all has an impact. And it's necessary to recognize the impact, otherwise we burry our attention in jobs, busyness, a brief period over the weekend where we feel like we don't have to "think"...and in doing so we miss it, the life we've experienced.