Braveheart - "Every man dies, not every man really lives."
The Last Samurai - "Tell me how he died?" response "I will tell you how he lived."
+ It's that "finding life in every breath" theme and hopefully finding it to the full. I ask myself am I living in such a way? Do I use my time where I can answer yes?
(and I offer a chance by reading this for you to do the same). If you say yes, that's freakin awesome! If you wonder and question and think that the answer is more no, that's okay. No matter what you've been doing, why can't now be a step in the right direction towards that YES.
Another two weeks in Nazareth and I can say that my answer to the questions have been more Yes than No. The former week was spent hanging out around town mostly. Waking up each morning with the opportunity and freedom to spend an hour or two reading my bible, praying and wanting to learn more about Jesus and God's Word is a blessing. It makes me laugh how that has changed in my life because I used to never read period, let alone read the Bible, if I had the time to choose something else, and if I ever did it was only for 15-20min max to just make sure I did it. Woopty Doo, I read my bible, I'm a good person now right? (Not what it's about).
It's funny to be aware of the changes in my interests and what I pursue as my life has changed...and changed 100% for the better. In terms of some activity, I went to the local soccer court, walked on and played with some neighborhood Muslim kids and teens who now shout hello to me from their cars as they drive by while I stand at the bust stop. Pretty wild statement right there that I never thought I'd have the chance to say. Also, I spent some quality time with a few high school guys who will be going to the school where I volunteer for Young Life. Simply enough we would hang out and play some footy (soccer) or video games, but conversation always seems to meander towards deeper life stuff and sharing philosophies we all have developed so far. Love that.
Finished the "Divergent" series as well, gotta say I'm a bit more of a "Hunger Games" fan, but it was still a good series about a dystopian society, the choices we make, how we grow as individuals and in community while standing up for what we believe is right. Up next, Bob Goff's "Love Does" and I am really enjoying the way this guy goes about life and living in love. Thanks for sharing your experiences and how you've pursued the Lord Mr. Goff.
Another random thing I got to read was the last address by Jim Rayburn (the founder of Young Life) that he gave to the YL staff in 1970, 11 months before he passed away. What a cool dude! He definitely was a person who 'Really Lived', traveling all over the world meeting different people from different cultures. Then recognizing what he truly loved and that was spending time with high school kids and doing life with them having the hope/goal of sharing the Gospel. All this, while to my unknown knowledge, he experienced intense illness such as central nervous system deterioration and cancer. Even more respect and admiration for the guy who inadvertently changed my life with an organization he was called to start.
The latter week I spent in Petah Tikva, a town about 30min outside of Tel Aviv, as a volunteer leader for a camp known as The Potter's Wheel Camp. It is a Christian based camp that hosts different age groups from 4th grade to 9th grade. This week was 5th and 6th graders. It's been around for a long time, over 30 years from what I could gather, and it provides a week of fun for kids (games, cabins, pool, good food). 2 days before it started a friend asked if I wanted to come be a leader with her. There would be about 15 other leaders (ages 16-21) and everyone's first language was Arabic. Thankfully the leaders have grown up in school system that teaches English from an early age so most know it well enough and the kids coming to camp knew some also...so I wasn't totally out of it, but it was still a challenge. However, even despite all the elements that should have made me uncomfortable and put me out of place I chose to say yes, and I'm really glad I did - things seem to usually work out like that I've discovered, we just need the courage to go for it. The week was exhausting physically and mentally, and it took a lot of constant positive self talk. There was a quote I focused on continuously, probably said it to myself 50 times.
"If not me who, if not now when".
This I said over and over when I was not feeling up to something or when I was tired. Tired of the kids who were hard to relate to at first. Tired from a lack of sleep. When I was unsure why I was here as a random American trying to make an impression of Jesus on 5th and 6th graders. When annoyed at the countless pieces of trash that I picked up. And then among all the other things that I could have dismissed.
Self talk is really important to me because it keeps me focused on what I know I should do and what is expected of me, when I could easily just give up and say "I'm good, not gunna do that." It keeps me motivated and walking the path towards the ultimate goal when it would be so easy to wander off.
I cannot explain how, but on Monday as the kids arrived and I was saying hello to them while thinking "how is this ever gunna work? I guess I'll just kind of be in the background and help where I can" then to at the end of the week smiling while running around with these kids and having them jump on me saying "Zackee, I love you and will miss you"...I mean, what else is there better than witnessing such change? Only God knows, I'm just grateful to be apart of it all :)
leaders from Potters Wheel Camp
There's the update for you, my friends and family and whoever may stumble upon this post. I hope it had some wisdom you can take away and again if you want to talk about A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I'm always down. While there was a ceasefire in Gaza the past few days, it has ended and hatred and war continue to be constant not only here but in many areas of the world (Russia, Ukraine, Iraq, Central Africa, Syria)...hard to believe in hope and love with all this going on. Yet, we must because then evil wins. Something that's been on my mind often the last month has been, "If evil in this world never rests, how can I?" Whether it's mission work, that small act of kindness in your day at work or at home, or something in between...don't give up on the goodness in people. It's so much stronger than hate.
Cheers to Saturday! Love Zack
Shout out to The Cooley Family too! specifically to Emory :) got the return letter and support from you all and it puts a huge smile on my face.
If you would like to contribute to my time here in Nazareth you can use this link.
Support Zack
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Okay, I was unsure whether to include this but figured, what the heck why not. It's apart of me after all and thanks to the fact this is a blog and not a paper for a professor, there's no grade and therefore no structure necessary. Here is some "word vomit" - hence the name of the post. It is just some completely raw thought processes I was having about some of the deeper, more unexplainable things in life I wonder about. I dunno if you ever go through those times, but I do from time to time and quite enjoy it.
What have I done to deserve the life I live? How is it that I have been given such a life, with amazing family and friends, a healthy body, a happy spirit, the memories created and the fact I've been safe and protected (somewhat - various broken bones or torn ligaments) throughout. And day after day I get to wake up and experience a life of my choosing. Yet when looking at myself also from a distant view or perspective, like another galaxy in space, or even just way up high in an airplane...I say who am I to matter? A tiny little thing amongst 7 billion currently...not much more special or specific than any other. At the core I am just like everyone else with a body, feelings, a mind, and many of whom I'll never come in contact with and we'll never even be aware of each other's existence. How is it we think we are so big and grand and our problems matter more than others...but only to ourselves. We consider ourselves of utmost importance....but are we really? On the timescale of creation, or evolution, whichever you may prefer, our existence is but a minor moment in the grand scheme of things. Here for a brief period and then gone from the face of the Earth like a gust of wind. Can this really be it? Is it all that matters that I will search and chase after "happiness" day after day for however long I am to be on this planet?
With how strong everything is that we feel, from the highest high and the lowest low, the range of emotion and the complexity of how our entire anatomy is wired so exactly to the infinitesimal level...is the fraction of the timescale we experience even worth considering. There has to be something greater...and that's where I've found there is and it can only be God. We are similar and part of humanity but how cool that we are all also so unique and different with different talents, goals, dreams. The way our mind's work is wired differently...If for a moment the distractions of life can be taken away...both good and bad and you just sit in silence and look at what is in this world...specifically what man did not create, how can you not wonder how this is all possible? From the inner workings of a leaf on a tree and everything encompassed in that 1 tree...the ability for it to go from death to life and life to death as the seasons carry on....personally I can only sit in amazement. And what then if there is something more...where do we find it or where do we look for it? In solitary moments when we take everything in. Our memories, looking back and how we have grown up from who we were to who we are now. The interactions with other people, from family members to friends who are like family to simple acquaintances...I believe it all has an impact. And it's necessary to recognize the impact, otherwise we burry our attention in jobs, busyness, a brief period over the weekend where we feel like we don't have to "think"...and in doing so we miss it, the life we've experienced.
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